Well, it only stands to reason that Dr. Glenn Beck has decided to establish his own university. After all, he is now the distinguished owner of an honorary doctorate degree bestowed on him by the late Jerry Falwell’s prestigious Liberty University.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/06/glenn-beck-university-fox_n_635980.html
Beck University is only taking baby steps in the beginning while waiting for accreditation by the American Association of Public Affairs Embeciles (AAPAE). On-line classes begin with three professors, including the Chairman of LSU’s political science department, James Stoner. According to the Baton Rouge Advocate, Dr. Stoner is an avowed conservative, who has spoken to tea partiers about constitutional issues. He compared his Beck University lectures to guest appearances on the Comedy Channel’s Daily Show by prominent educators, politicians and authors. Stoner said his lectures would be devoted to educating students on matters relating to the U.S. Constitution. He has written extensively on the subject.
A pro-family activist and an expert on business affairs are also early recruits for Beck University’s faculty. I have a couple of suggestions for other faculty members. Brother Jimmy Lee Swaggart would be an excellent selection for a class titled, “Tears and Sobs on Demand.” And how about a class called, “Ten Ways to Escape a Straight Jacket”. Neither of the two subjects are offered by other colleges, although I must admit that I have failed to check the curriculum of Liberty University.
Dr. Beck’s “institution of higher learning” will not award credits for its classes. But the scam…oops, I meant to say tuition is a bargain—$75.00 a year or $45.00 for six months. Students will receive either an education or an indoctrination. And despite Dr. Glenn’s racism, I’m reasonably certain Beck University has an open door policy. But as a precautionary measure, African Americans, Hispanics and Muslims should mark “No Preference” when questioned about race and/or religion.
Seriously, folks, I can’t decide if Glenn Beck is the craziest son-of-a-bitch on radio and television or the smartest con man since the days of P.T. Barnum whose famous quote, “There’s a sucker born every minute” is personified by a large segment of Beck fans. Glenn never misses an opportunity to exploit his celebrity to earn a few bucks. In addition to radio and TV shows, he writes barely coherent books, does live video appearances carried in movie theaters at jacked-up admission prices, and he merchandises lunacy in every forum he can find.
I suspected for a longtime that Beck fans were in on the joke—that they really didn’t take his ramblings seriously. But he is the guy who claims to have started the tea party movement. And the folks shouting about taking back their government are deadly serious. Thankfully, it has failed to grow beyond the size of the Ross Perot base, if that big. November will tell the tale of the tea party’s influence on elections. Actually, a couple of the candidates they support are eligible to share a padded cell with Dr. Beck. But you never know the mood of voters.
I hate to use this cliché because people will think it is autobiographical, but “Ignorance is bliss.” For anyone that doesn’t get it, my middle name is Bliss. I was named after my paternal grandfather and don’t have a clue of its origin. I like to state that the name reflects the ecstasy of my wives—or should I say wife. The other two kicked my sorry ass out. Read all about it my book. But I digress.
Anyway, our nation has dumbed down—thanks in large part to television. Part of the blissful ignorance that has swept the country is a result of laziness. People don’t take the time to read newspapers, magazines or do a little research on the Internet to determine the truth of fables spread by Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Keith Olberman and a whole slew of propagandists on the left and right. Like hogs at the trough, they consume whatever is fed to them.
Consequently, politicians treat voters like simpletons. Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen wrote this week about his surprise in learning that a U.S. Senator with a dumb-downed commercial was in fact a pretty smart guy.
In an era when the Internet puts news and background at our finger tips, it is distressing to know that so many people live twitter lives. If Beck University is to succeed, its founder may need to reduce class time to 140 characters.
My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.
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