There’s many people in the world just like our Henny-Penny,

They panic when they listen to the news,

They think the sky is falling and we’re all about to die,

I’d say they have the Henny-Penny-Blues.

The Lightnin’ Hopkins song should be adopted as the anthem of the Tea Party. “The sky is falling” iseems to be the mantra of the loudest folks at tea party demonstrations and other events. It is no wonder. Doomsday prophecies dominate the nation’s airwaves and cable news channels. And although the heaviest dose of negativism and uncivility penetrates the right ear, the left ear drum also takes a beating. Whine, bitch, complain. There seems to be no escape.

This certainly is not the best of times. Nor is it the worst of times. My IRA is proof. Unfortunately, though, our society lives on instant gratification. Patience? What the hell is that? President Obama promises a slow recovery of the economy. But he should have dealt with that problem yesterday. Worse, the President delivered on his campaign promises. Health care legislation and finance reform were passed by a Democrats in Congress, despite opposition from a party that votes no on bathroom breaks.

I recognize the contradiction in my vent. Whine, bitch, complain. But I duck when passing mirrors to avoid seeing myself as others might see me. Besides, I’m a journalist. That gives me a free pass to point fingers at other people, create conflict and act like I have good sense. These are God given journalistic privileges. If you don’t believe me, just watch television. Listen to the radio. Or—I know this is radical in the Internet age—read newspapers.

So where am I going with this rant? I’m not exactly sure where my fingers will take me. More than likely, it’s in the direction of politics, pollsters and journalists. One of the qualities I admire in Obama is his apparent tendency to ignore polls. At least, in the short-term. His knee seems to remain relatively still in the face of opposition to issues such as health reform, immigration, drilling moratoriums, etc. Unlike his predecessor who put on a flight suit to declare our victory in Iraq (some victory) Obama didn’t don a scuba outfit and dive into the Gulf of Mexico to plug the BP oil leak. Maybe he expected Louisiana Governor Smarty Pants to put his finger in the well head.  

I have no doubt that Obama reads the polls. Actually, he doesn’t need to. News reporters and pundits read them obsessively and pass along the results when questioning the President. Even if he doesn’t care that people believe he is the worst President since the one yesterday. Or the one tomorrow. Even though journalists comprising the Washington elite don’t cover a hurricanes, they still bend with the breeze—most of which is generated polls.

In a weird sort of way, Fox “News” is refreshing. Bet the readers of the blog never believed I would make such a statement. But like patients in mental asylums, Fox folks see the world differently than the norm. In my book, that is okay. It just gives me additional things to bitch about in the blog. Thirty seconds watching Glenn Beck provides enough material to last for days.

I relate to oddballs because my investigative reporting career was built on contrarianism. At times when all my colleagues were jumping on the bandwagon of conventional wisdom, I hung around to ask one more question about an issue and/or individual. One more question led to two, then three and so on. The results were often surprising. As evidence, check the journalism awards on the walls of my home office. But be sure to knock. Sometimes my hair is mussed.

In some respects, the only difference between the Fox folks and me is that I based my exposés on facts rather than politics. Sadly, facts are not much in vogue today. Especially on cable news networks. All three—I’m being generous in calling MSNBC a news network—are filled programming with talking heads. Fox provides forum for every known Republican politician. MSNBC’s format of all opinion, all the time caters to Democrats. CNN tries to play the middle ground by encouraging guests from the left and right to engae in fistfights. Instead, the conflicts are pissing matches. I fully expect CNN to raise the stakes by recruiting Jerry Springer. He could take the place of John King. 

By the way (notice that I didn’t use the shortcut btw to make me seem like I was a mod kind of guy), what’s with John King—no relation to the network’s mummy in residence, Larry King. John is CNN’s replacement for nutty Lou Dobbs. Although King the younger claims Massachussets as his birthplace, my suspicion is he was born in a taxicab on Pennsylvania Avenue outside the White House while his mother played video games. He is consumed with Presidential politics and digital devices that are designed to totally confuse viewers. I Tivo the show and use it as a cure for insomnia.

But enough of this rambling discourse. I warned you that I didn’t know where my fingers were going to take me. My dilemma now is coming up with a clever close to the post, something that relates to the title. I never attended journalsim school but I think there is supposed to be a bit of relevance between the opening and the finale.

How about this? I’ve rattled on today without any forethought given to what the hell I was going to say.

BTW (they years just peeled away), tomorrow is re-run day as I try to escape the dog days of summer by heading out of town.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

I’m a half-full glass kind of guy. And when bad things happen to good people (or even bad people, for that matter), I look for the positives. In the case of fired Department of Agriculture official Shirley Sherrod much has been gained this week.

Foremost is exposing low-life Andrew Breitbart’s as right-wing scum. Prior to releasing an out-of-context video segment of a speech Sherrod made to an NAACP gathering in Georgia, Breitbart’s Internet site was the source of much of the racist propaganda on Fox “News.” Most notorious was heavily edited undercover video of a Breitbart operative posing as a pimp while seeking financial help from ACORN to open new whorehouse. Fox repeatedly ran the video and it flooded the Internet. Although, the black activist political organization claimed the video failed to reflect what really happened, Breitbart refused to release the raw tape. ACORN has since disbanded, in large part because of the publicity given the right-wing manufactured scandal.

The simpleton Breitbart “investigative reporter” playing the pimp role subsequently stumbled over his idiocy when he tried to entrap Louisiana U.S. Senator Mary Landrieu by tampering with telephone lines in her New Orleans office. Accompanied by two equally moronic “undercover agents” dressed as telephone repairmen, the trio was arrested and ultimately cut a deal with federal prosecutors to plead guilty to misdemeanor charges.

Brietbart has also been involved in other unsavory schemes designed to embarrass the Obama Administration, Democrats and anyone else on his enemies list. What makes him dangerous is the fact that Fox “News” will spread any rumor he passes along. Breitbart receives frequent French kisses from Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. They in turn spread the germs to fans. The good news is that the Sherrod incident might cause a few people to use mouthwash after being exposed to the Republican Propaganda Network.

Actually, there was a minor miracle on Fox. Glenn Beck came to the defense of Sherrod. It is the first time to my knowledge that he has ever told the truth about anything dealing with the Obama Administration.

Before reporting other positives from the Sherrod incident, I need to explain what happened for the benefit of readers who may have been trapped in remote parts of the world during the the past 72 hours, or failed to pass within 100 yards of a television set carrying CNN. The network went wall-to-wall on coverage, trapping Sherrod in its Atlanta studios and refusing to allow her to leave until Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack dropped to his knees, begged forgiveness and offered her a big promotion to compensate for his stupid decision seeking the Georgia official’s resignation before viewing the full video of Sherrod’s inspiring speech about her transformation from judging farmers by the color of their skin. She told the audience that a white farm couple in south Georgia helped her realize that poverty was color blind. The elderly couple were the first to come to Sherrod’s defense, telling reporters that the Agriculture Department official went far beyond the call of duty to help them save their farm. The Breitbart video only showed a few seconds of Sherrod’s speech in which she gave background of her epiphany about race.

Another possible bright spot in the debacle is the embarrassment it caused the Obama Administration in what is tantamount to an admission that officials actually watched Fox “News” and give a shit about its distortions. Maybe they accidentally switched to Fox to get away from Rick Sanchez. If that is the case, Fox could pick-up Administration viewers in August when Sanchez temporarily replaces Campbell Brown in the 8:00 p.m. slot. That is like replacing a healthy diet with junk food. Brown was one of CNN’s better anchors and reporters. On the other hand, Sanchez only acts like he knows what he is talking about. He was in top form yesterday, treating the Sherrod story like it was a state funeral. Overreaction to overreaction is the best way to describe his reporting.

Despite going overboard yesterday in its Sherrod coverage, I was happy to see CNN mount a strong defense of the woman. Objectivity was cast aside, which is sometimes appropriate in journalism—though not to the extent of Sanchez’s often uninformed reporting. Fortunately, the Sherrod issue was so clearcut that CNN avoided an outbreak of shrinking testicles—a virus that has regularly swept the network in the past when dealing with controversy. Believe me, I know. Read all about it in my book. Can’t resist the chance for a quick plug.

Back to the half-full glass. The biggest positive to emerge in recent days is Shirley Sherrod. The daughter of a farmer murdered by white men never brought to justice, she has become a hero of millions of people this week. Instead of going quietly after being publicly humiliated by her bosses and the NAACP, she defended herself with the kind of dignity that exposed Andrew Breitbart, Fox “News” and right-wing hate-mongers as people devoid of moral consciences.

If Sherrod can resist exploiting the scandal and/or being exploited, not only will her glass be half-full, it will overflow.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

Since the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous 75 years ago and the beginning of Alanon for spouses and families of alcoholics shortly thereafter, the “anonymous” label has been attached to a multitude of 12-step recovery programs. Spin-offs are designed to deal with an array chemical, physical and emotional problems—gambling, sex, eating disorders, addictions to illegal and/or prescription drugs, and an array of struggles that part of the human condition.

Regardless of the ailments, the underlying principles of all the different 12-step programs are pretty much the same. The steps put into practice a value system that is unknown to many—the basics of which include universal tenets of faith, trust, honesty, courage and humility. In AA lingo, incorporating the principles in one’s life leads to a “spiritual awakening.” Not to be confused with a sudden epiphany that is often described as a ”spiritual experience.” Twelve step programs gradually bring about a level of self-honesty. That is why so-called tea partiers need to form a recovery program called, ”Deniers Anonymous.”

From inception, Tea Party members and its candidates have been in a state of denial in responding to any and all criticism. The most recent instance of self-deception is the refusal to acknowledge the NAACP’s claim that the loosely formed organization have been invaded by racists, bigots and hate groups. The denials must be coming from blind and deaf spokespersons. How could they miss an inflammatory road sign in Iowa comparing the President to Hitler and Lenin, or fail to see placards at rallies that are clearly racist, or not accept the word of credible sources that epithets were directed at black congressmen as they walked through a crowd of Tea Party demonstrators? That is the equivalent of my years of denial that alcoholism caused my drunken episodes, delirum tremens, nights in jail, an emotionally abused broken family and eventually led me a failed skid-row audition. 

Vice President Biden refused yesterday to label the Tea Party as racist. And I agree. However, that does not mean the absence of racism among many of its members—a subtle form of which is sometimes more sinister than outward bigotry. Indeed, it is often difficult for people—me included—to detect underlying prejudices. Our failure to see deep-rooted personal bias is troublesome for African Americans. At least they know where they stand with the Klan mentality.

Deniers Anonymous would be particularly helpful for Tea Party candidates, some of whom have denied saying or believing they made statements in radio, television and newspaper interviews. Sharron Angle is an exception. The Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate in Nevada simply avoids mainstream media interviews. She answers only to God, Fox “News” and right-wing reporters in her home state. God apparently is not satisfied with her answers. Senate Majority leader Harry Reid has been resurrected from the graveyard of politically dead incumbents.

Meantime, God has smiled down on Democrats in Kentucky by delivering a Tea Party-supported candidate whose mouth has gotten him in so much trouble that he is no longer a a sure-fire Republican successor to slightly deranged incumbent Jim Bunning. Dr. Rand Paul stumbled in the race coming out of the gate by making 1960’s era comments about civil rights. Like Sharron Angle, he now avoids interviews that could expose him as under-qualified to occupy Bunning’s Senate seat—a level of incompetence that is probably impossible to achieve. Nonetheless, Dr. Paul’s gaffes have made the Kentucky race competitive. Given his explanations that previous statements are not a real reflection of his position on civil rights, Deniers Anonymous would be helpful in allowing Paul to get in touch with his true views.

Former Presidential candidate Ross Perot is the best example of my own experience of encountering political candidates living in a state of denial. Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger provides all of the gritty details. If interested, buy the book and be entertained by my journey to a vast fantasy land. In short, my one hour in-depth confrontation with Perot during the 1992 Presidential campaign was his final sit-down interview with an investigative reporter .

I had flashbacks of the Perot debacle sixteen years later while watching Katie Couric interview Sarah Palin—another political figure who defines accountability as being a personal attack. She has become a role model for refusing to do interviews with anyone but the Fox “News” bunch and their ilk. She and all her cohorts at the Republican propaganda networks are excellent candidates for Deniers Anonymous. Especially Glenn Beck.

In AA, we sometimes classify a category of alcoholics as “low bottom drunks.” Having spent time with my feet planted in a gutter, I fit the label. Glenn Beck is a low bottom denier. In the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, he consistently denies his racially charged and anti-semitic rants. Washington Post poltical reporter Dana Milbank wrote a column last week that provided astonishing statistics about Beck’s hate-filled lunacy and his influence as a self-proclaimed leader of the Tea Party movement.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/16/AR2010071602855.html?hpid=opinionsbox1

If the day comes that someone decides to start a Deniers Anonymous program, Glenn Beck should be among the first recruits. He should have some vague knowledge of recovery based on his past disclosure that he joined AA many years ago. I presume he is still sober today. Outwardly, though, he does not fulfill AA’s promise of restoring its members to sanity. 

That is not surprising. Anyone listening to Beck can easily discern that he knows nothing about the principles that form the basis of 12-step recovery.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

Well, it only stands to reason that Dr. Glenn Beck has decided to establish his own university. After all, he is now the distinguished owner of an honorary doctorate degree bestowed on him by the late Jerry Falwell’s prestigious Liberty University.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/06/glenn-beck-university-fox_n_635980.html

Beck University is only taking baby steps in the beginning while waiting for accreditation by the American Association of Public Affairs Embeciles (AAPAE). On-line classes begin with three professors, including the Chairman of LSU’s political science department, James Stoner. According to the Baton Rouge Advocate, Dr. Stoner is an avowed conservative, who has spoken to tea partiers about constitutional issues. He compared his Beck University lectures to guest appearances on the Comedy Channel’s Daily Show by prominent educators, politicians and authors. Stoner said his lectures would be devoted to educating students on matters relating to the U.S. Constitution. He has written extensively on the subject.

A pro-family activist and an expert on business affairs are also early recruits for Beck University’s faculty. I have a couple of suggestions for other faculty members. Brother Jimmy Lee Swaggart would be an excellent selection for a class titled, “Tears and Sobs on Demand.” And how about a class called, “Ten Ways to Escape a Straight Jacket”. Neither of the two subjects are offered by other colleges, although I must admit that I have failed to check the curriculum of Liberty University.

Dr. Beck’s “institution of higher learning” will not award credits for its classes. But the scam…oops, I meant to say tuition is a bargain—$75.00 a year or $45.00 for six months. Students will receive either an education or an indoctrination. And despite Dr. Glenn’s racism, I’m reasonably certain Beck University has an open door policy. But as a precautionary measure, African Americans, Hispanics and Muslims should mark “No Preference” when questioned about race and/or religion.

Seriously, folks, I can’t decide if Glenn Beck is the craziest son-of-a-bitch on radio and television or the smartest con man since the days of P.T. Barnum whose famous quote, “There’s a sucker born every minute” is personified by a large segment of Beck fans. Glenn never misses an opportunity to exploit his celebrity to earn a few bucks. In addition to radio and TV shows, he writes barely coherent books, does live video appearances carried in movie theaters at jacked-up admission prices, and he merchandises lunacy in every forum he can find.

I suspected for a longtime that Beck fans were in on the joke—that they really didn’t take his ramblings seriously. But he is the guy who claims to have started the tea party movement. And the folks shouting about taking back their government are deadly serious. Thankfully, it has failed to grow beyond the size of the Ross Perot base, if that big. November will tell the tale of the tea party’s influence on elections. Actually, a couple of the candidates they support are eligible to share a padded cell with Dr. Beck. But you never know the mood of voters.

I hate to use this cliché because people will think it is autobiographical, but “Ignorance is bliss.” For anyone that doesn’t get it, my middle name is Bliss. I was named after my paternal grandfather and don’t have a clue of its origin. I like to state that the name reflects the ecstasy of my wives—or should I say wife. The other two kicked my sorry ass out. Read all about it my book. But I digress.

Anyway, our nation has dumbed down—thanks in large part to television. Part of the blissful ignorance that has swept the country is a result of laziness. People don’t take the time to read newspapers, magazines or do a little research on the Internet to determine the truth of fables spread by Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Keith Olberman and a whole slew of propagandists on the left and right. Like hogs at the trough, they consume whatever is fed to them.

Consequently, politicians treat voters like simpletons. Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen wrote this week about his surprise in learning that a U.S. Senator with a dumb-downed commercial was in fact a pretty smart guy.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/05/AR2010070502659.html?hpid=opinionsbox1

In an era when the Internet puts news and background at our finger tips, it is distressing to know that so many people live twitter lives. If Beck University is to succeed, its founder may need to reduce class time to 140 characters.  

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

All along, I thought Fox “News” truly truly believed all the crap it foisted off on viewers. I went so far as to label the network a Republican propaganda outlet. But the truth is coming out. Fox is setting the stage to compete with the Comedy Channel.

The British humor of native Australian and media mogul Rupert Murdoch, reveals itself in the satirical morning news program, Fox and Friends, as well as the slapstick Pink Panther antics of Glenn Beck—the self-confessed rodeo clown. Strangely, though, many viewers have difficulty in distinguishing between comedy and reality. This segment of Fox fans are fairly easy to recognize. In fact, while browsing this past weekend in Barnes and Noble, I alerted the manager that Beck’s latest book was displayed on a top shelf, making it impossible for shoppers in straightjackets to reach.

Incidentally, a Washington Post literary critic caused Beck considerable distress by panning his book, The Overton Window—a hilarious imitation of Ayn Rand, the mother of ‘objectionism.” Look up the term on Google. It has something to do with self-sufficiency and taking responsibility for one’s own life. Curiously, Beck’s reaction to criticism is an example of Atlas failing to shrug (a terrible analogy, but I try).    

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/political-bookworm/2010/06/beck_attacks_post_critic.html

Actually, Glenn’s best-selling novel is a rip-off of a self-published book that died in anonymity several years ago, the potential fate of my “less-selling” memoir. Come on, people. Buy my damn book. Anyway, Beck acknowledged that the writer he ripped-off, making his crime of plagiarism a misdemeanor.

Understanding the comedy of Glenn Beck is easy. You only have to watch him on Fox “News” for five minutes or less. People unable to stand the sight of his moon-face can listen to his radio show for a minute or two.

The wit of the trio in residence on Fox and Friends requires a bit more concentration than the pie-in-the-face frolics of Glenn Beck. Sometimes, though, it is not too subtle. Last week, co-anchor Brian Kilmeade had his audience rolling in the aisles with two dimwitted bits. He wanted to know what BP’s robot was “thinking” when it knocked the cap off of the Gulf oil spill. Kilmeade was also puzzled why it is taking months for President Obama to plug the leak when it only took him hours to fire Afghanistan commanding General Stanley McChrystal.

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/06/25/kilemead-robot-obama/ 

Brian Kilmeade is funny, but the winner in Fox’s dueling comic competition is his faithful morning companion, Gretchen Carlson. The former Miss America last week compared the responsibilities of television anchors with those of the President.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/24/gretchen-carlson-compares_n_624093.htmlexposé

Far and away, Ms. Carlson is the most talented of the Fox co-anchors because of her talent for concealing intelligence as a Stanford University honors graduate and accomplished violinist. She could be the re-incarnation of actress Judy Holliday or Grand Old Opry comic personality, Minnie Pearl. They were both college graduates with a talent for playing the roles of clueless characters.

As a footnote, I once shared the opera stage with the 1951 Miss America, Yolande Betbeze Fox (no relation to the network by the same name). Four years before she was crowned, a few members of my grammar school choir were selected by the Mobile, Alabama Opera Company to sing in a La Boheme street scene. Miss Betbeze, then 17 years old, played the role of Musetta. This was no half-assed high school production. Indeed, one of the nation’s leading tenors, David Poleri, was recruited as the opera’s lead character, Rudolfo. Poleri’s career later took a nosedive in a contract dispute with the Chicago Opera Company. He walked out during the a final scene in the performance of Carmen, forcing her to die a natural death.

My experience of participating in La Boheme has given me a lifelong appreciation of opera, although my operatic career ended with in Mobile. Nonetheless, my musical tastes over the years have allowed me to comfortably switch CD’s from a collection that includes The Three Tenors and George Jones Greatest Hits. 

And I’m also pleased to report that my Mobile encounter with Yolande Betbeze taught me to appreciate beauty. Following the first night of rehearsal, I told momma of seeing the most beautiful girl I had ever seen— an assessment affirmed by Miss America judges. Impressed?

Yolande Betbeze took a different path in life than Gretchen Carlson, including a decision that caused chagrin among officials of the Miss America competion. She refused to pose in bathing suits for Catalina, a pageant sponsor. The company moved its sponsorship to Miss USA. Instead of posing for cheesecake, Betbeze launched a brief career in opera before marrying and settling in the nation’s Capitol. 

I’m uncertain how I’ve gone off on a tangent of writing about opera, Miss America contestants and topics unrelated to Fox “News.” But this is a free form blog. Read it on a daily basis and become privy to all sorts of trivia.

But returning to Fox, I keep waiting for the network to file copyright lawsuits against the Comedy Channel. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are stealing its best material. I really think it’s a plot to gain publicity prior to a future announcement.

Rupert Murdoch will conduct a news conference to say, “Folks, we’ve been putting you on by posing as a news network. Don’t you get it? Comedy is our shtick.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

As a Father’s Day gift, my wife—a child bride, some friends say—gave me Bill Press’s recently published book, Toxic Talk: How the Radical Right has Poisoned America’s Airwaves. I mentioned to her that wanted the book, even though it was like a choir member requesting a hymnal that he or she had memorized. But reading the book was the first time that I have seen the magnitude of the lies gathered in one place, which is a rather mind-boggling experience.

I don’t recommend the book as a great piece of literature. Press is a liberal Democrat and freely admits his political prejudices. But he did his homework in gathering examples of the lies, distortions and misinformation that dilutes the airwaves. One chapter each is devoted to liars Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Michael Savage. Two guys with an ounce of brains, presumably—Harvard graduates Bill O’Reilly and Lou Dobbs—share a chapter. That’s too bad because they are probably the worst of the bunch because they have enough sense (a quantam leap on my part) to know they are exploiting fans for personal gain. In a matter of a few paragraphs, the book also cites a few wannabe stars of the far right.

Toxic Talk isn’t particularly well written. However, it catalogues abuses under specific headings and uses direct quotes from radio and television shows hosted by the wild-eyed characters, most of whom seem devoid of consciences since they will say anything for a buck.

Actually, Glenn Beck falls in a different category altogether. From all appearances, he is simply mentally unbalanced. Take, for example, his most recent outbreak of lunacy.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/22/glenn-beck-vomits-over-na_n_621551.html

The Bill Press book fills in gaps for me. I have a hard time listening or watching the ranting of wing-nuts for more than a few minutes. Fortunately, I get to watch a lot of right-wing antics on television’s two most legitmate news shows—Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert. For my reading pleasure, Media Matters keeps me abreast with the lunatic fringe. The liberal left-wing Internet site obviously monitors and transcribes AM radio craziness and political distortions of GOP propaganda outlet, Fox “News.”

Speaking of which.

Over the past ten years, I’ve regularly worked out at health clubs in two golf communities— first in Georgia following my retirement from CNN, and more recently in my adopted home of Louisiana. I’m guessing the majority of my neighbors in both places are die hard Republicans. Arriving for my 6:30 exercise time in the morning, the television has almost always been on Fox “News.” I find that a bit surprising because in both communities, a large percentage of the residents are well-educated college graduates. Sadly, though, most apparently don’t subscribe to newspapers or major news magazines. If so, I believe they would have doubts about what Fox represents as “fair and balanced” news. Instead, I hear intelligent folks—including some members of my family—parroting the propaganda, lies and distortions proselytized by Fox and its pundits. It would be interesting to hear their responses if they took time to read Toxic Talk. But that ain’t gonna happen. Facts only confuse these people.

And late word just in.

CNN announced today that it has hired a narcissistic, whore-hopping egomaniac to replace Campbell Brown as a prime time anchor. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer—a disgraced liberal Democrat—will host the show with Washington Post conservative columnist, Kathleen Parker. I really don’t care about Spitzer’s taste for hookers, his narcissism or outsized ego. What I care about is CNN’s decision to replace a news program with an updated version Crossfire, a program that aired many years ago when I worked for the network. 

Coincidentally, given the topic of this post, Toxic Talk author Bill Press was the liberal voice on Crossfire. Pat Buchanan occupied the chair on the right. The show was entertaining. But it didn’t qualify as news, nor occupy a prime time slot. In my opinion, the mummy show, Larry King, provides enough entertainment for CNN’s prime time. But what the hell do I know?

I predicted that Rich Sanchez would replace Campbell Brown. So the bad news that CNN is dumping a news show is tempered by the good news that I was wrong.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

For eight years, pundits made exaggerated complaints that George W. Bush was too dumb to be President. Remember Ronald  Reagan? And for two years, the same pundits complain that President Obama is too smart. Remember Bill Clinton? I ain’t got no fine college education, but I’m smart enough to recognize stupidity when it comes from the mouths of no-it-all political commentators, reporters and talk show hosts. 

In the latest stupid episode of the dumbing-down of America, an alleged “expert” on speech patterns characterized the President’s recent Oval Office speech about the Gulf oil spill as too complicated for the average television viewer to comprehend.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/17/obama-oil-spill-speech-cr_n_615796.html

I watched the President’s speech and understood every word he said. Didn’t go to the dictionary even once. Granted, I went a little bit beyond the 9.9 grade level that the “expert” claimed was required to understand the address. In fact, I’m the proud owner of a diploma from Tuscaloosa, Alabama Senior High School. Graduated in the top 80% of my class. Sadly, I couldn’t maintain the momentum during one semester at the University of Alabama, where I failed every course except ROTC. The school has a dumb rule requiring students to attend classes. A few years later, I attended disc jockey school for four semesters. However, spinning records only makes people dumber. Have you heard of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and other ex-disc jockeys now make a living by drooling on microphones? 

Anyway, I rated Obama’s speech as okay—though unnecessary. I rate it much higher than saying, “Let’s bomb the hell out of Baghdad and give CNN some visual news to report.” The President did what President’s are supposed to do. He re-enforced his Administration’s commitment to assist people and businesses effected by the spill. Proof came the following day when he shook-down BP for $20-billion—”shake-down” being the decription given the escrow fund by a stupid GOP Congressman (told you I recognized stupid when I heard it). 

The fund will go a long way in diminishing some of the fears of Gulf coast folks whose lives have been put on hold.  It will also help keep the courts unclogged by thousands of lawsuits. Though painful to plaintiff lawyers deprived of their 40% contingency fees, providing an alternative to litigation will expedite the payment of claims.

Obama’s speech notwithstanding, he can say nothing, nor can he do anything at this point to satisfy his critics and/or the people suffering from the tragedy. I hope he regularly recites the Serenity Prayer. If you don’t know words, it’s time to move out of your cave.

Unfortunately, a sizeable segment of society avoids making independent judgments about solutions to ongoing catrastophes, controversial issues and political dilemmas. Too often they are willing to accept the judgments of idiots. I ask again, have you heard of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, et al?

For most of my career in broadcasting, I worked with people better educated than me. As Senior Investigative Correspendent in CNN’s Special Assignment investigative unit, I was surrounded by reporters and producers with Ivy League diplomas and degrees from several prestigious universities. Earlier in my career, I spent five years an under-educated, redneck ex-drunk in charge of an investigative unit at a highly acclaimed local station in “Blue Blood” Boston. In these and other environments throughout my career, academic shortcomings caused me hang-ups. I compensated for the insecurities by reading everything I could get my hands on, developing a polysyballic vocabulary and a smart-ass attitude.  

My wife, who has two advanced degrees, has jokingly threatened to slap me (I think its a joke) if I repeat one more time, “I ain’t got no fine college education like you,” a phrase I frequently use when pontificating on some obscure topic I read about in books and magazines that are published for readers above the 9.9 grade level. I’ve subscribed to New Yorker for years. I read most articles and even profess to understand many of its cartoons. I hope that makes me seem sophisticated?  

I realize there are other smart-asses, who say I never needed to go beyond the 9.9 grade level. After all, I was a television reporter. Indeed, TV news is responsible for dumbing down America. Investigative reporting has all but disappeared from television. Too complicated. Therefore, most muckraking that is left falls into the category of superficial. In the latter days of my career, reporters were advised by so-called “news doctors” to make stories “viewer friendly.” 

Maybe the President should hire a “news doctor” so he can begin his speeches by saying, “Oil rig went boom, boom.”

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

Glenn Beck has reached a milestone by signing up the 400th radio station for his syndicated show. Being a fair guy and knowing that a few drooling right-wingers scan this blog, I refer readers to Glenn’s website listing all the stations that air his rants. 

http://media.glennbeck.com/content/radio/

Happy now?

The headline of today’s blog post refers to the dilemma faced of AM radio station ownrs. Over the past two decades, listeners have deserted AM radio with the speed of folks fleeing a theater following a shout of “fire.” That is, of course, until Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and other talk show hosts representing the lunatic fringe came along.

In a strange turnabout, listeners tune in to hear these characters shout “fire.” They have become the ”saviors” of AM radio. Otherwise, folks listen to FM stations, satellite or personal digital collections. Air America was once a liberal alternative. But nobody cared. Or listened. The network went into bankruptcy earlier this year.

There are also a few stations that depend on ESPN for programming. However, all sports, all the time can get boring for people who don’t go to sleep wearing baseball caps and/or football helmets.

That brings me to Savior with a capital “S.” Many AM stations around the country have been “saved” by religious programming. In fact, Jimmy Swaggart Ministries controls 28 radio stations—AM and FM—mainly in the south and midwest. And his programs are carried by many other stations. In fact, radio was the financial salvation of the disgraced preacher’s ministry following sex scandals that nearly destroyed Swaggart’s $150-million a year organization.

Moreover, religious and Gospel music programming has salvaged untold numbers of AM and FM radio stations—especially in rural areas. On long drives, it is interesting and sometimes entertaining to scan stations and listen to preachers of every persuasion. Radio time is relatively cheap on small stations. So just about any pastor can afford to spread his or her message on the airwaves. And they can recoup the investment with a pitch to listeners for contributions. Long before TV evangelists spiritually manipulated audiences for a few dollars, preachers found radio to be a lucrative venue.

The irony in contemporary radio is that the Becks and Limbaughs violate every principle of Christianity. Their messages of hate, distortion and misinformation contaminate the airwaves. Even more curious is that a large segment of their listening audiences profess to be “good Christians.” Yet, they have no qualms about proselytizing the gospel of the loonies.

By the way, is Rush Limbaugh gay? I don’t have any evidence to suggest that he is, but why shouldn’t I ask questions and spread unfounded rumors in the same manner as Limbaugh and his ilk. After all, he paid Elton John a million dollars to play at his recent wedding to bride number four. And right-wing homophobics like Limbaugh often get caught in gay scandals. Just asking. Sometimes, I can’t resist taking cheap shots.

Anyway, this whole issue of choosing between Glenn Beck, et al, and Jesus causes me to wonder about my own choices as the owner of a radio station on the brink of bankruptcy. I’ve been in that position.

After starting my broadcasting career almost a half century ago in a tiny radio station in Northern California, I began harboring a dream of ownership. In my minds eye, I could see me in the owners chair, making all the decisions about programming and format. Twenty years later, I fulfilled my wish. A partner and I bought KCLF, an AM station in New Roads, Louisiana. Its signal barely reached across the Mississippi River to Baton Rouge, where I was then a mini-Mike Wallace exposing crime and corruption in the Capitol City.

Absentee ownership of KCLF provided me an AM radio education. I learned it was a shortcut to bankruptcy. My big mistake was programming the station with what I liked—old time rock and roll from the fifties and sixties. In a small community with a large population of African Americans and an equal number of young people, all of whom preferred FM, I was doomed from the get-go. The station eventually put me in bankruptcy court.     

Glenn, Rush and the others were not around to offer me salvation. Although KCLF carried a few religious broadcasts, Jesus was not present enough to keep the creditors from the door. Its now easy for me to criticize station owners who opt to carry hate-filled programming to avoid financial ruin. But in retrospect, WWJD? What would John do? Or have done? 

I’m lucky. I never had to make the choice.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.