A recent decision by the U.S. Second Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the Federal Communication Comission’s broadcast indecency policy. The ruling stated that FCC standards covering offensive language are “unconstitutionally vague.”
If the decision is eventually upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, it could open the door for CNN to finally do something innovative. Take for example all the boring talking heads on the network. Instead of restrained debate when Republicans and Democrats face-off, the language could be more reflective of how political opponents really feel. Something along the lines of former Vice President Dick Cheney’s advice to Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont, “Go f–k yourself.”
HBO’s success with programs such as The Sopranos is evidence that real life language attracts viewers. And take it from me, a reporter who spent a good portion of my career covering organized crime, that is the language of mobsters. But since CNN is desperate to regain lost viewers, let’s not rely on dirty words as an attraction. Instead of blondes in short skirts, “Take it off.”
I know this seems stupid. However, my old employer is getting close to cornering the market on stupid decisions—the foremost being its effort to incrementally sink to the level of Fox “News.” The departure of Campbell Brown as a prime time anchor is indicative of CNN’s failure to sustain its legitimacy as a reliable news gathering organization. Replacing her in the time slot is a show co-anchored by a horny former New York Governor and a conservative newspaper columnist. The program should be titled, Crossfire: Part Two. For readers with short memories Crossfire was a long-running CNN screaming match between liberals and conservatives.
Before I express contempt for the new show prior to its debut, I must concede that it has potential if the network takes full advantage of Eliot Spitzer’s more perverse talents. He can book a few of his paramours from the little black book he used while serving as Governor. Please, though, avoid demonstrations of past behavior. I don’t want to see a guy prancing around wearing only black socks as was his habit in Washington D.C. hotel suites.
Hopefully, co-host Kathleen Parker will keep his libido in check. Despite her credentials as a conservative pundit, she is an outspoken feminist. Actually, her politics seem more moderate than conservative—a view that I’m certain is held by Sarah Palin. During the 2oo8 Presidential campaign, Parker wrote many unkind words about the former Governor of Alaska, such as this excerpt from a column following the infamous Katie Couric interview.
Like so many women, I’ve been pulling for Palin, wishing her the best, hoping she will perform brilliantly. I’ve also noticed that I watch her interviews with the held breath of an anxious parent, my finger poised over the mute button in case it gets too painful. Unfortunately, it often does. My cringe reflex is exhausted.
Palin filibusters. She repeats words, filling space with deadwood. Cut the verbiage and there’s not much content there. Here’s but one example of many from her interviews with Sean Hannity: “Well, there is a danger in allowing some obsessive partisanship to get into the issue that we’re talking about today. And that’s something that John McCain, too, his track record, proving that he can work both sides of the aisle, he can surpass the partisanship that must be surpassed to deal with an issue like this.”
(Note: The interview proves that Palin was never a prophet)When Couric pointed to polls showing that the financial crisis had boosted Obama’s numbers, Palin blustered wordily: “I’m not looking at poll numbers. What I think Americans at the end of the day are going to be able to go back and look at track records and see who’s more apt to be talking about solutions and wishing for and hoping for solutions for some opportunity to change, and who’s actually done it?”
If BS were currency, Palin could bail out Wall Street herself.
The Eliot Spitzer/Kathleen Parker show begins in mid-September. I wish CNN luck in bringing back viewers. But media critics are pretty much unanimous in verdicts that the network is taking steps backward, rather than forward—especially with the pending announcement that tabloid personality Piers Morgan will replace Larry King, who is leaving one step ahead of the arrival of a hearse.
As New Yorker media critic Nancy Franklin pointed out this week, there are no easy answers to CNN’s dilemma of competing with right and left-wing lunatics like Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Keith Olberman. And as smart as Spitzer is by his own admission, he is probably 25 IQ points behind fellow liberal Rachel Maddow.
I would like to think that CNN’s future is in its past. The New Yorker article reminded me of my ten years with the network when legitimate news stories were dominate. But those days may be long gone.
So I say to CNN, lets see some skin. It will help my IRA.
My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.