There’s many people in the world just like our Henny-Penny,

They panic when they listen to the news,

They think the sky is falling and we’re all about to die,

I’d say they have the Henny-Penny-Blues.

The Lightnin’ Hopkins song should be adopted as the anthem of the Tea Party. “The sky is falling” iseems to be the mantra of the loudest folks at tea party demonstrations and other events. It is no wonder. Doomsday prophecies dominate the nation’s airwaves and cable news channels. And although the heaviest dose of negativism and uncivility penetrates the right ear, the left ear drum also takes a beating. Whine, bitch, complain. There seems to be no escape.

This certainly is not the best of times. Nor is it the worst of times. My IRA is proof. Unfortunately, though, our society lives on instant gratification. Patience? What the hell is that? President Obama promises a slow recovery of the economy. But he should have dealt with that problem yesterday. Worse, the President delivered on his campaign promises. Health care legislation and finance reform were passed by a Democrats in Congress, despite opposition from a party that votes no on bathroom breaks.

I recognize the contradiction in my vent. Whine, bitch, complain. But I duck when passing mirrors to avoid seeing myself as others might see me. Besides, I’m a journalist. That gives me a free pass to point fingers at other people, create conflict and act like I have good sense. These are God given journalistic privileges. If you don’t believe me, just watch television. Listen to the radio. Or—I know this is radical in the Internet age—read newspapers.

So where am I going with this rant? I’m not exactly sure where my fingers will take me. More than likely, it’s in the direction of politics, pollsters and journalists. One of the qualities I admire in Obama is his apparent tendency to ignore polls. At least, in the short-term. His knee seems to remain relatively still in the face of opposition to issues such as health reform, immigration, drilling moratoriums, etc. Unlike his predecessor who put on a flight suit to declare our victory in Iraq (some victory) Obama didn’t don a scuba outfit and dive into the Gulf of Mexico to plug the BP oil leak. Maybe he expected Louisiana Governor Smarty Pants to put his finger in the well head.  

I have no doubt that Obama reads the polls. Actually, he doesn’t need to. News reporters and pundits read them obsessively and pass along the results when questioning the President. Even if he doesn’t care that people believe he is the worst President since the one yesterday. Or the one tomorrow. Even though journalists comprising the Washington elite don’t cover a hurricanes, they still bend with the breeze—most of which is generated polls.

In a weird sort of way, Fox “News” is refreshing. Bet the readers of the blog never believed I would make such a statement. But like patients in mental asylums, Fox folks see the world differently than the norm. In my book, that is okay. It just gives me additional things to bitch about in the blog. Thirty seconds watching Glenn Beck provides enough material to last for days.

I relate to oddballs because my investigative reporting career was built on contrarianism. At times when all my colleagues were jumping on the bandwagon of conventional wisdom, I hung around to ask one more question about an issue and/or individual. One more question led to two, then three and so on. The results were often surprising. As evidence, check the journalism awards on the walls of my home office. But be sure to knock. Sometimes my hair is mussed.

In some respects, the only difference between the Fox folks and me is that I based my exposés on facts rather than politics. Sadly, facts are not much in vogue today. Especially on cable news networks. All three—I’m being generous in calling MSNBC a news network—are filled programming with talking heads. Fox provides forum for every known Republican politician. MSNBC’s format of all opinion, all the time caters to Democrats. CNN tries to play the middle ground by encouraging guests from the left and right to engae in fistfights. Instead, the conflicts are pissing matches. I fully expect CNN to raise the stakes by recruiting Jerry Springer. He could take the place of John King. 

By the way (notice that I didn’t use the shortcut btw to make me seem like I was a mod kind of guy), what’s with John King—no relation to the network’s mummy in residence, Larry King. John is CNN’s replacement for nutty Lou Dobbs. Although King the younger claims Massachussets as his birthplace, my suspicion is he was born in a taxicab on Pennsylvania Avenue outside the White House while his mother played video games. He is consumed with Presidential politics and digital devices that are designed to totally confuse viewers. I Tivo the show and use it as a cure for insomnia.

But enough of this rambling discourse. I warned you that I didn’t know where my fingers were going to take me. My dilemma now is coming up with a clever close to the post, something that relates to the title. I never attended journalsim school but I think there is supposed to be a bit of relevance between the opening and the finale.

How about this? I’ve rattled on today without any forethought given to what the hell I was going to say.

BTW (they years just peeled away), tomorrow is re-run day as I try to escape the dog days of summer by heading out of town.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

Is U.S. Senator David Vitter brain dead or what? The Harvard graduate and Rhodes Scholar is making a career out of breathtaking stupid  stunts. As I reported yesterday, the Sarah Palin brain epidemic has infected Louisiana Governor Bobby (Smarty Pants) Jindal—another Ivy League educated Rhodes Scholar. However, I expect him to partially recover after television cameras leave the Gulf Coast and he quits saying stupid things that contradict experts.

Senator Vitter is a more challenging case. He has been haunted by hookers throughout much of his political career—first in his hometown of New Orleans and later in the nation’s Capitol where he was identified as a prostitution client of notorious D.C. madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey. The irony of the disclosure is remarkable. Vitter’s voice was among the loudest in the impeachment of President Bill Clinton. 

Despite world class hypocrisy—a level of which challenges a title long held by TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart—Vitter’s voting record causes far-right conservatives to wet their britches in glee, an appropriate reaction to a politician whose paid paramours claimed he had a diaper-wearing fetish.   

If any doubts remain about Vitter’s quirks and misogyny, he erased the questions by allowing an aide with a criminal record of domestic abuse to act as the “women’s issues” representative in his Washington Senate office. 

http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2010/06/23/vitter_aide_abuse 

At a photo op last week when Vitter officially registered as a candidate for re-election, he refused to discuss the aide’s misconduct and position on his staff. The Senator abruptly ended an impromptu news conference and fled from the courthouse. In an editorial today, the Baton Rouge Advocate took him to task over the issue and his unwillingness to offer an explanation.

http://www.2theadvocate.com/opinion/98293574.html

I figured Vitter would lay low for a couple of days. But I learned long ago that desperate politicians are apt to embrace any issue they believe consituencies support. The Republican Senator obviously believed he was standing before a rally of morons Sunday evening when he voiced his support for lawsuits by so-called birthers, who continue to question whether President Obama was born in Hawaii.  

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100713/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_republican_senator_birthers

And the now the video.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/13/david-vitter-birther-gop_n_644031.html

Because the nation’s mental institutions are already overcrowded, birthers have been deemed harmless to our health and safety, and are allowed to run free in society. In fact, a good number of these folks were cured of the birther delusion by learning to read something besides viral e-mail. Vitter and former CNN commentater Lou Dobbs—another Harvard graduate, believe it or not—may be last “educated” people in the country to exploit the birther issue.

Anyway, I wait with bated breath for Senator Vitter’s next stupid stunt. He is far more entertaining that Governor Smarty Pants. Even though he has a comfortable lead in the most recent polls, I am naive enough to believe voters will recognize his shortcomings and allow him to become a lobbyist—an advocate perhaps on behalf of ladies of the evening.

I will certainly miss him when he is gone. But if  re-elected by some strange set of circumstances, I can then ask the same question I posed at the beginning of this post. But with a slight variation.

“Are Louisiana voters brain dead, or what?”

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

As a Father’s Day gift, my wife—a child bride, some friends say—gave me Bill Press’s recently published book, Toxic Talk: How the Radical Right has Poisoned America’s Airwaves. I mentioned to her that wanted the book, even though it was like a choir member requesting a hymnal that he or she had memorized. But reading the book was the first time that I have seen the magnitude of the lies gathered in one place, which is a rather mind-boggling experience.

I don’t recommend the book as a great piece of literature. Press is a liberal Democrat and freely admits his political prejudices. But he did his homework in gathering examples of the lies, distortions and misinformation that dilutes the airwaves. One chapter each is devoted to liars Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Michael Savage. Two guys with an ounce of brains, presumably—Harvard graduates Bill O’Reilly and Lou Dobbs—share a chapter. That’s too bad because they are probably the worst of the bunch because they have enough sense (a quantam leap on my part) to know they are exploiting fans for personal gain. In a matter of a few paragraphs, the book also cites a few wannabe stars of the far right.

Toxic Talk isn’t particularly well written. However, it catalogues abuses under specific headings and uses direct quotes from radio and television shows hosted by the wild-eyed characters, most of whom seem devoid of consciences since they will say anything for a buck.

Actually, Glenn Beck falls in a different category altogether. From all appearances, he is simply mentally unbalanced. Take, for example, his most recent outbreak of lunacy.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/22/glenn-beck-vomits-over-na_n_621551.html

The Bill Press book fills in gaps for me. I have a hard time listening or watching the ranting of wing-nuts for more than a few minutes. Fortunately, I get to watch a lot of right-wing antics on television’s two most legitmate news shows—Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert. For my reading pleasure, Media Matters keeps me abreast with the lunatic fringe. The liberal left-wing Internet site obviously monitors and transcribes AM radio craziness and political distortions of GOP propaganda outlet, Fox “News.”

Speaking of which.

Over the past ten years, I’ve regularly worked out at health clubs in two golf communities— first in Georgia following my retirement from CNN, and more recently in my adopted home of Louisiana. I’m guessing the majority of my neighbors in both places are die hard Republicans. Arriving for my 6:30 exercise time in the morning, the television has almost always been on Fox “News.” I find that a bit surprising because in both communities, a large percentage of the residents are well-educated college graduates. Sadly, though, most apparently don’t subscribe to newspapers or major news magazines. If so, I believe they would have doubts about what Fox represents as “fair and balanced” news. Instead, I hear intelligent folks—including some members of my family—parroting the propaganda, lies and distortions proselytized by Fox and its pundits. It would be interesting to hear their responses if they took time to read Toxic Talk. But that ain’t gonna happen. Facts only confuse these people.

And late word just in.

CNN announced today that it has hired a narcissistic, whore-hopping egomaniac to replace Campbell Brown as a prime time anchor. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer—a disgraced liberal Democrat—will host the show with Washington Post conservative columnist, Kathleen Parker. I really don’t care about Spitzer’s taste for hookers, his narcissism or outsized ego. What I care about is CNN’s decision to replace a news program with an updated version Crossfire, a program that aired many years ago when I worked for the network. 

Coincidentally, given the topic of this post, Toxic Talk author Bill Press was the liberal voice on Crossfire. Pat Buchanan occupied the chair on the right. The show was entertaining. But it didn’t qualify as news, nor occupy a prime time slot. In my opinion, the mummy show, Larry King, provides enough entertainment for CNN’s prime time. But what the hell do I know?

I predicted that Rich Sanchez would replace Campbell Brown. So the bad news that CNN is dumping a news show is tempered by the good news that I was wrong.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.

Perodically, stories appear in the mainstream media speculating about the political aspirations of former CNN anchor Lou Dobbs, as well as Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal. A Republican ticket of Dobbs for President and Jindal as his running mate would be a dream come true.

For Democrats.

Earlier this month, Dobbs said he has not abandoned his Oval Office ambitions. And Jindal continues to prance around the country raising money—allegedly to finance his campaign for a second term as Governor. However, Dobbs and Jindal  share the same problem. They live in fantasy worlds, a common destination for a lot of television personalities and politicians—no matter how smart they are. And these are two smart guys. Dobbs graduated from Harvard. Jindal is also Ivy League educated. He attended Brown and did his post-graduate studies as a Rhodes Scholar at England’s Oxford University.

Still, there is something about television and/or politics that supersedes intellect. I observed the phenomenon throughout my career as a non-celebrity TV reporter. Despite virtual anonymity during thirty years as a broadcast newsman, I was often guilty of the self-important posturing that afflicts a vast majority of television correspondent. Or for that matter, most journalists. There is a tendency to forget that we are only as important as the venue in which we practice the craft.  

Beyond peering into the mirror and assessing my own ego, I’ve seen the insidious narcissism that spreads like a pharmaceutical-resistant virus in the business from which I retired. It was always fascinating to have dinner with well-known newsmen and watch them divert their attention from the table to survey the room in hope that there is a flicker of recognition by fellow diners.

A veteran video editor once told me about strolling through Central Park with Mike Wallace following an outing by members of the 60 Minutes  staff. Instead of returning to CBS headquarters on 52nd street via a lightly traveled path, Wallace chose the most crowded route, thus, bringing him the attention that TV folks crave. 

In my ten year tenure as CNN’s Senior Investigative Correspondent, Lou Dobbs and I became casual acquaintances. He’s a nice guy, at least when I knew him. However, he was known for his temperment. After Dobbs was passed over for a top network executive position, he up and quit. Ted Turner convinced him to return a few months later. By then, he faced competition in his time slot of Bill O’Reilly—the most controversial Fox “News” personality at the time.

Lou apparently decided to “out outrage” O’Reilly by launching crusades on issues like illegal immigration. Lou’s outrage caused controversy, the equivalent of mother’s milk for spell-my-name-right television egotists. CNN, however, got many complaints as a result of Lou’s tendency to bend facts. The complaints escalated after Lou offered aid and comfort to birther lunatics. In a matter of months, he “resigned.”

The Lou Dobbs audience has since shrunk to a relatively small number of radio listerners willing to patiently search the dial for his talk show on tiny radio stations around the country. But Lou’s ego seemingly remains outsized if he has deluded himself into believing he is qualified to run for President.

Meantime, Bobby Jindal’s Presidential delusion continues to be fed by people who believe in the national potential of the Governor of a state ranked at the low end of nearly every quality of living scale. It reminds me of the smoke blown up the derriere of John McKeithen, another Louisiana chief executive with national ambitions.

In 1968, I covered the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. At a Sunday evening cocktail party in honor of the Louisiana delegation, speculation was rampant about McKeithen’s prospects of being the running mate of presumed nominee, Hubert Humphrey. Indeed, when I interviewed U.S. Senator Russell Long, he cut the the interview short, saying, ”Don’t talk to me. Interview the next Vice President of the United States.”

Long then led me by the arm to McKeithen. He would have been a remarkable choice to run as V.P. given that Louisiana was in the midst of turmoil over school desegregation, labor racketeering and allegations of mafia influence on government. And like Jindal, he was Governor of a state that showed little inclination to solve the problems. 

It was later revealed that Senator Long’s purpose in promoting McKeithen was to keep the Louisiana delegation unified in the wake of contentious debate over the Demoratic’s party’s positions on several issues, the foremost being civil rights. McKeithen was passed over as a prospective running mate without so much as a nod. And even before the convention ended, he left for home. Arriving at the airport in New Orleans, he gave a law and order speech, then retreated to sulk for a few days.

I doubt that Jindal’s ambitions will be squelched so traumatically—that is assuming he holds on to a return ticket to reality.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger, is available at amazon.com and independent bookstores. It offers much more than $19.99 worth of laughs. It is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) career.