Join me for a moment on an ego trip. There is a purpose.

During my three decades as an investigative reporter in various venues around the country, I collected more than twenty major national broadcast journalism prizes. Not included in the count are state and regional awards, many of them long forgotten.

Beyond the sheer quantity of my accolades is the remarkable array of topics I covered. My four Peabody medallions were for exposés of  organized crime, political corruption, the ministgry of television evangelist Jimmy Swaggart and revelations about a state insurance commissioner, who with his five cohorts, went to prison in the aftermath of my disclosures. The insurance and televangelism documentaries earned two Dupont Columbia citations—the so-called Pulitzer Prizs of broadcasting journalism. Exposing payoffs by a bank to a state official won the Radio Television International Award for Investigative Reporting, now called the Edward R. Murrow award. I could go on and on. But you get the idea.

My reason for this flight of braggadocio is not so much to praise myself, but to eulogize the employers and the craft that gave me an opportunity to do the kind of the television stories that now rest in broadcast journalism’s graveyard. I’m not demeaning my own abilities. I must have had a talent for scandal-mongering. However, I could never have won all the prizes without the support of employers. In Baton Rouge, Miami, Boston and for awhile at CNN,  I was given free rein to uncover stories I deemed important.

My bosses major benefit besides the awards was a bit of journalistic pride—at a high cost. Investigative reporting is an expensive business for news organizations in terms of legal fees and other attendant costs. I’ve been reminded of the risk in recent months while teaching LSU continuing education classes for students 50 years old and up. When video of my long ago exposés—classes are kind of like a John Camp film festival—I realize my good fortune in being given the time and resources to do the the kind of investigations that produced results. Several resulted in lawsuits. The good news is I never lost.

The bad news is television muckraking is pretty much history. There are a few exceptions. Sixty Minutes and Frontline come to mind. For the most part, though, television tries to fake investigative reporting—especially twenty four hour cable news organizations. I’m particularly disappointed with CNN, where I spent ten years as Senior Correspondent in a forty member investigative unit, another piece of broadcasting journalism history. I don’t expect a return to its heyday with the hiring of new network president, Jeff Zucker.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/tv-column/post/jeff-zucker-officially-named-president-of-cnn-worldwide/2012/11/29/e032ddd6-3a38-11e2-8a97-363b0f9a0ab3_blog.html

Zucker’s career, mainly with NBC, has been in entertainment and “news lite” programming. He now faces the proposition of winning back viewers who fled from CNN and its endless supply of talking heads, many of whom are so repetitive I feel like a clairvoyant because of my ability to predict exactly what they will say. For the most part, pundits have replaced reporters on CNN.

Maybe I should watch Fox “News” more often now that Joe Muto, a former Fox producer, has revealed to Huffington Post that the bizarre stuff on the network is actually a gigantic farce and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

“The people at Fox are not stupid,” he said. “They know when they have Dick Morris or one of these other pundits on predicting a landslide victory for Romney, the people behind the scenes know that it’s all bluster. They know that this is sort of an entertainment. They know that a lot of these people are just hucksters … we producers know that this is all a farce. The reason we don’t step in and give a reality check to our audience is because that’s terrible for ratings.”

Muto also talked about Fox News hosts Megyn Kelly, Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity, and predicted that the network will sand down some of its hard-right edges in coming years.

Unfortunately, most viewers don’t understand Fox’s satire—me included. If, in fact, its all a big joke, the network is too subtle for me. I guess those of us taking the network’s Republican propaganda, distortions and outright lies seriously are like the Chinese folks who believed a recent article in the The Onion describing the leader of North Korea as the sexiest man alive.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/kim-jongun-named-the-onions-sexiest-man-alive-for,30379/

As a regular reader of The Onion, I knew the Kim Jong-un story was a joke. But Fox “News?” Sean Hannity? Bill O’Reilly? Regular guest Donald Trump and all the other clowns on the network? I don’t a sense of humor that is capable of grasping their ?satirical? rants. So Muto’s explanation may have merit, given the quanity of comic material the network provides Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. 

Maybe that’s the future of CNN. Jeff Zucker can rescue the network from the ratings toilet by hiring the cast of  Saturday Night Live to anchor and offer commentary.  

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger: A Saga of Exposing TV Preachers, Corrupt Politicians, Right-Wing Lunatics…and Me is available at amazon.com, soft-cover or Kindle and at independent bookstores like the Cottonwood in Baton Rouge. It offers $19.99 worth of laughs and much more. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) investigative reporting career.

I promised not to gloat after the presidential election. But I can’t resist saying, “I told you so.” Actually, my prediction was conservative—290 Electoral votes compared with 303 presently and a likely total of 332 when Florida finishes its count.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been asked (not too often) about my absence from the derelictgunslinger blog. The short answer is I don’t like declaring rain is wet. Anyone viewing these posts knows my politics. So why aggravate my wing-nut family members and friends. Better to let the outcome speak for itself. And besides, this blog was mainly created to sell  my non-best selling memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger. Please buy the damn book and make me happy—though I can’t imagine being much happier than I was at 11:00 p.m. Tuesday night.

In the aftermath of the election, there is no need now to worry about  offending friends and far-right members of my family, several of whom make Ann Coulter and Michele Bachmann look like bed-wetting liberals. Most of them are already apoplectic about President Obama’s re-election. I only wish they would stop throwing out words like socialism, communism and marxism—terms they are too ignorant to define in terms of Obama’s policies. If these folks looked inward, they would discover another word that describes their attitudes toward the president. Racism.

Much of the winger post-election whining deals with minority influence on the outcome and the disproportionate number of votes they cast for the president. A coalition of African Americans, Hispanics and women (if, in fact, they are considered a minority) undoubtedly played a major role in Barack Obama’s re-election. But how about the minority class to which I belong? Angry white southern males.

Born, bred in the deep south and now living in red-state Louisiana, I’m a double minority—a liberal “yellow dog” democrat. Worse, I no longer shoot unarmed animals, cast for fish or drink whiskey straight out of the bottle—activities that are all part of my past. Nor am I angry at anyone. At least today. But as evidence of my southern heritage, I still stuff myself with gumbo, fried seafood and chicken, and in the privacy of my home, I’ve been known to loudly fart and belch—much to my wife’s chagrin.

Although my confession is slightly embarrassing, it is certainly not as disgraceful as the actions during the election of cycle of many prominent pundits, public figures and so-called journalists. Fox “News,” aka the Republican Propoganda Network, is of course in a class by itself. I don’t begrudge the First Amendment freedoms of its stable of lunatic commentators to express opinions—no matter how bizarre. However, the network reaches the level of disgrace when it tries to pass off political propoganda as news. And that happened frequently during the presidential campaign.

But no need to belabor criticism of Fox “News.” I’ve beat that issue to death ever since this blog was started. Nor will I devote many more words to ex-disc jockeys Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and others of the their ilk like “birther” Donald Trump, who is often given time on Fox to humiliate himself. All the aforementioned characters personify the failure of the nation’s mental health policies of deinstitutionalzation of the marginally nutty, a thin line these guys tend to cross on a daily basis.

In handing out disgrace plaques, Louisiana Governor Bobby (Smarty Pants) Jindal deserves special recognition. Hopeful of a high post in a Republican Administration, the part-time exorcist and fulltime frequent flyer abandoned the state he was supposed to lead to travel for days on end as a Mitt Romney surrogate. Jindal did accomplish one goal. He ensured his legacy as the worst governor in Louisiana’s history. And that is saying a lot.

I guess the one piece of bad news that comes out of the election for Louisianans is the fact that Jindal will be around for another two years to continue devastating the states education and health systems and reducing  the quality of life in taking the state to third world status. 

But despite all that happened during the election campaign, one disappointment stands out for me—the full page newspaper ads by the Billy Graham Crusade that were in effect an endorsement of Mitt Romney and the Republican Party. Long ago, Billy Graham stated in an authorized biography—A Prophet with Honor—that his support of President Richard Nixon taught him to avoid becoming publicly involved in partisan politics. The book was written by Rice University sociologist Dr. William Martin, a leading expert on evangelism and a friend of mine from the days when I was doing exposés about spiritually exploitative TV preachers. 

The recent ad was allegedly signed by Billy Graham—a spiritual leader I’ve always admired. And it probably expressed his views on gay marriage and abortion accurately. Still, I have a hunch the world famous 94 year old evangelist was victimized by son, Franklin, a 60 year old hemorrhoid on his daddy’s ass. Franklin has made a career of creating discomfort for the evangelist. So my disgrace plaque goes to Franklin instead of his father.

That said, I’m just glad the campaign is finally over. Though it will take time, I hope all the sore losers will finally shut the hell up. And if we are lucky, let us hope during the president’s second term for the departure of a couple of U.S. Supreme Justices responsible for the Citizen’s United decision that put unlimited secret money into political campaigns.

Don’t you know that all these big Romney donors are experiencing PESD—Post Election Stress Disorder. That makes me happy.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger: A Saga of Exposing TV Preachers, Corrupt Politicians, Right-Wing Lunatics…and Me is available at amazon.com, soft-cover or Kindle and at independent bookstores like the Cottonwood in Baton Rouge. It offers $19.99 worth of laughs and much more. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) investigative reporting career.

Metaphor definition: A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison, as in “Sea of troubles” or “All the world is a stage.”

Vice President Joe Biden needed a better metaphor than his comment to a predominately black audience that Mitt Romney’s Wall Street policies would  put folks back in chains. 

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/08/14/biden-romneys-wall-street-will-put-yall-back-in-chains/ 

The Biden remark followed his claim and the belief of fellow Democrats that the GOP would “unchain” Wall Street, meaning the repeal of tighter regulations on banking and other financial transactions by high rollers. But forget the context. In today’s political environment, every word and every phrase is parsed by reporters. Minor gaffes become big news. Both parties are victimized by the superficiality of contemporary political journalism.

Worse, many of the nation’s voters—especially cable news viewers and talk radio listeners—have been dumbed-down to the point that they can’t differentiate between real issues and bullshit. Forgive my language, but I’m unable think of a better word describing coverage of the 2012 presidential campaign. And for that matter, most political campaigns.

Moronic reporting is non-partisan, though Republicans seem to bare the brunt of gaffes escalating to the level of being scandalous. Having said that, I admit to rarely watching Fox “News,” aka the Republican Propaganda Network, or listening for extended periods of time to a bunch of ex-disc jockeys with names like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, et al. If Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are any indication, my guess is that Democrats are unloved in those venues,

No doubt, the right-wing media branch has conditioned a lot of people to believe the damndest politicians on God’s green earth. How else can you explain the alleged popularity of Sarah Palin, Chistine O’Donnell and, in particular, a sizeable number of members of Congress who seem to be in some bizarre  competition to win the title of the nuttiest person to ever hold a seat in those hallowed halls. I can’t decide whether to vote for latter day commie hunter Alan West or conspiracy lunatic Michele Bachmann and her Tea Party allies in the House of Representatives. Each has a shot at a Gold Medal for the seriously demented.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/dana-milbank-modern-day-mccarthyism/2012/08/08/0c6090fc-e1a5-11e1-98e7-89d659f9c106_story.html?hpid=z3

Before conceding medals to Bachman or West, I have to concede there are other serious contenders like Texas Republican Louie Gohmert. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/20/louie-gohmert-aurora-shootings_n_1689099.html?utm_hp_ref=politics

But Gohmert may be disqualified because most politicians from his home state are slightly off kilter. Who can forget Texas Governor Rick Perry? What a tease Perry has become. He keeps hinting that Texas will secede from the union but never follows through on the threat. Please, Governor, do it.

Anyway, I’m home from vacation. And the Governor of my fair state has  awakened from his fantasy dream of becoming Mitt Romney’s running mate.  Delusional creationist and facilitator of exorcisms, Bobby (Smarty Pants) Jindal, now awaits the telephone call that will get him the hell out of Louisiana before citizens realize the mess he has created with his so-called school voucher program.

http://www.motherjones.com/blue-marble/2012/07/photos-evangelical-curricula-louisiana-tax-dollars 

The reality of what Jindal has done to Louisiana will hurt for decades to come. But maybe there is a method to his madness—the education of a generation of students more ignorant than their forebearers.

Sadly, much of the media and a lot of voters will be too stupid to realize the damage that Jindal and his fellow travelers has caused.

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger: A Saga of Exposing TV Preachers, Corrupt Politicians, Right-Wing Lunatics…and Me is available at amazon.com, soft-cover or Kindle and at independent bookstores like the Cottonwood in Baton Rouge. It offers $19.99 worth of laughs and much more. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) investigative reporting career.

It’s hard to even guess what GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney is thinking in allowing Louisiana Governor and frequent flyer addict Bobby Jindal to stalk  television cameras as a surrogate campaign spokesman. But whatever Romney is thinking is subject to change if the wind direction changes. So why ponder the puzzle.

Although Romney’s political judgment is sometimes impossible to fathom—dissing Affordable Health Care at the NAACP convention is a good example—surely the retired department store mannequin is not so out-of-touch that he would select Jindal as a running mate. Or for the matter, offer any kind of responsible Cabinet position to Governor Smarty Pants. Apparently, Jindal is a man unaware his shortcomings. He has been conducting an unrelenting campaign to leave Louisiana and the mess he created. Or maybe he is just being duped.

Reminds me of covering the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago when Louisiana’s then Governor, John McKeithen, was decieved into believing he would be Vice President Hubert Humphrey’s running mate—a scheme that was devised to keep Louisiana’s delegation in line during platform debates over civil rights. Unlike Jindal, McKeithen was a pretty progressive Governor. However, he was handicapped by an array of problems in our fair state—labor racketeering, alleged mafia influence on government and racial strife so serious McKeithen bought national television time to assure the nation that Louisianans loved their black brethren. They just didn’t feel comfortable sharing classrooms, swimming pools and other public facilities with “Negroes,” a word the Governor sometimes had trouble pronouncing properly.

Bobby Jindal’s policies are the polar opposite of John McKeithen and most other Louisiana Governors in the last half-century. He is one of the most regressive Chief Executives in the state’s colorful history. And the totality of damage he has inflicted on the state can only be calculated in years to come.

As a boy growing up in Alabama housing projects and in other parts of the deep South, I often heard the expression, “He’s got book learning, but he ain’t got an ounce of common sense”—an envious put-down we poor dummies directed at folks smarter and more upscale than we were. At least in someways. I must be envious of our smarty-pants Governor. 

And speaking of envy, it appears that Jindal is jealous of Texas Governor Rick Perry, the man he threw his support behind during the GOP presidential primary. Jindal’e jealousy stems from the fact that Texas now holds the number one spot in the nation for uninsured poor. And by damn, Louisana is going to battle its neighboring state for first place by rejecting expanded Medicaid funds to cover a half million poor people in our state.

http://theadvocate.com/home/3307312-125/jindal-move-causes-stir

Jindal’s decision is a matter of principle rather than logic and/or interest in the welfare of Louisiana citizens on the lower end of the economic strata. Unfortunately, his “principle” places an added burdens on an already stressed health delivery system. But what can be expected of a Governor who unsuccessfully attempted to block the renewal of a minor state tax on tobacco—a deadly drug that regulary supplies patients for the state’s overburdened health care programs.

Bobby Jindal’s so-called “conservative principles” are apparently the same as those embraced by Republican U.S. House of Reprentatives members who voted for the 33rd time this week to overturn the Affordable Health Care Act, knowing full well that the measure would be rejected by the Senate. An over-used cliche describes insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Under that definition, the House is controlled by crazy people.

And crazy is a good word to describe the notion that Governor Smarty-Pants is in the running as Mitt Romney’s running mate—a myth perpertrated and perpetuated by pill-head Rush Limbaugh, ex-disc jockey Glenn Beck, virgin Sean Hannity and a group of right-wingers who are living examples that the nation’s mental health policies of deinstitutionalization are a failure.

There are other factors that disqualify Jindal as a viable running mate. Sad to say in this day and age, Romney’s Mormon religion is an obstacle to his election among many fundamentalist Christians—a large number of whom belong to the “birther” movement and are convinced President Obama is a Muslim, socialist, Marxist and practitioner of voodoo and other occult forms of mysticism, not to mention that he also happens to a man of color.

In 2008, Obama overcame the nuts and sent them whining to Fox “News.” And aided and abetted by the Republican Propaganda Network, they formed the Tea Party, a movement of malcontents and know-nothings now faced with the prospect supporting a presidential candidate whose only appeal to them is he is not Obama—Romney’s trump card perhaps.

But he faces a a long road, given his lukewarm support by conservatives, and it seems highly unlikely that the former Massachusetts Governor will consider as a running mate who challenges evolution, believes Noah lived to be 600 years old, and as a college student once engaged in an exorcism to rid a young woman of her impurities.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-womack/bobby-jindal-exorcistscie_b_1526263.html

The futility of Governor Jindal pathetic effort to leave Louisiana for Washington is actually bad news for the state. The sooner he goes, the quicker an effort can be made to repair the damage he has done to Louisiana’s health and education systems, the state’s ethics code and quality of life programs that are now on life-support. In the absence of Jindal, Lieutenant Governor Jay Dardenne would be a pretty capable guy. At least better than what we have now.

Before that happens, though, Romney must get elected. And if that occurs, having a President devoid of any firm principles he stands for might be a worse disaster for the country than Louisiana is facing under the leadership of an hallucinating Governor. 

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger: A Saga of Exposing TV Preachers, Corrupt Politicians, Right-Wing Lunatics…and Me is available at amazon.com, soft-cover or Kindle and at independent bookstores like the Cottonwood in Baton Rouge. It offers $19.99 worth of laughs and much more. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) investigative reporting career.

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For the past quarter of a century, a sizeable segment of the nation’s citizenry, mainly right-wingers, has been conditioned to believe inaccurate political allegations, wild conspiracy theories and just about any story requiring a modicum of thought to impugn—no matter how bizarre. And like greedy TV preachers raising money by preying on the guilt of sinners, a large number of political and media opportunists line their pockets by exploiting the ignorance of the country’s polarized society. A case in point is The Amateur, a book of distortions at the top of the New York Times  Best Seller List.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/17/books/edward-kleins-invective-laden-obama-book.html

Number two on the best seller list is Cowards, a tome co-authored by sanity-challenged TV and radio personality Glenn Beck—the ex-disc jockey who has gotten rich by fleezing morons. Most of what the self-professed “rodeo clown” writes is predictable. However, the author of The Amateur, Edward Klein, has bona fides that include a Masters Degree from Columbia University’s School of Journalism and top editorial positions with Newsweek and the New York Times Magazine—the latter job being one he lost because of  his poor judgment.

Despite being fired by the Times, it would seem that Klein has enough brainpower to avoid making up stuff when writing “non-fiction” books. But at the age of 75, perhaps he is a victim of early dementia—although there is no evidence of drool on his manuscript. I’m giving Klein the benefit of a best case scenario in explaining his irresponsibility, a doubtful premise since he previously published another error-filled book titled The Truth About Hillary Clinton. A more likely explanation of Klein’s propensity to distort and lie is he is a smart guy who sees an opportunity to make money by taking advantage of the sour mood of the anti-Obama, anti-Clinton, anti-progressive, anti-government wing of the Republican Party—a suspicion he denies.     

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/edward-klein-defends-his-obama-biography-the-amateur/2012/06/19/gJQAA1fToV_story.html?hpid=z4

In my opinion, much of the winger brainwashing gained momentum beginning in 1988 when ABC Radio provided a national venue for a fat failed disc jockey named Rush Hudson Limbaugh III. For the sixteen years prior to gaining a national forum, he bounced from job to job. Limbaugh dwelled in anonymity before finding a niche as a talk show host. His big serendipitous break occured in 1984 when a Sacramento, California radio station hired him to fill the time slot of syndicated loudmouth Morton Downey, Jr. Serendipity struck again three years later after the Federal Communication Commission repealed the Fairness Doctrine, paving the way for Limbaugh to say whatever he damn well pleased without having to provide free equal time for opposing views.

By late 1990—two years after his show was nationally syndicated—Limbaugh had cornered nut market. He built an audience of people with nothing better to do but listen to the radio during the hours most folks were working. Based on the responses of Limbaugh’s so-called “ditto-heads,” most of his listeners were too lazy to read books, magazines, newspapers or even think for themselve. Consequently, they were easily led them down a path toward ignorance by the pill-popping college drop-out whose only political affairs expertise was making up facts.

By 1994, Rush Limbaugh had emerge as the “Republican Idol,” an honor bestowed on him by serial adulterer Newt Gingrich—the author of a pamphlet teaching GOP candidates inflamatory words and invective to use against Democrat opponents. Following the takeover of the House of Representatives, Limbaugh was invited to Washington where Gingrich and fellow Republicans bowed down and kissed the ass of talk show host.

Envious of the affection and respect shown Limbaugh, other radio personalities like Sean Hannity adopted policies of lies and distortions that vaulted them to iconic stature as the voices of the far right. Their ranting gave wings to a bogus scandal called Whitewater, led by “Independent” Counsel and closet pornogapher Kenneth Starr. Seven years and $70-million later, Starr and his merry little band of voyeurs exposed President Bill Clinton’s rendezvous with intern Monica Lewinsky and facilitated impeachment for lying about the encounters. Clinton was acquitted in 1998, leaving unanswered the lingering question of whether blow-job is one word, or hyphenated. As a journalist assigned by CNN to investigate the Whitewater farce, I opt for the former.

By then, Fox “News,” aka the Republican Propaganda Network had entered the 24 hour cable news wars and began its winning battle by defeating CNN in the ratings race. But not in the “smarts” race. Surveys disclose that dumbness is the characteristic best defining Fox viewers, a willful ignorance that has seemingly spread to a majority of the Republican Party. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/21/iraq-wmd-poll-clueless-vast-majority-republicans_n_1616012.html?utm_hp_ref=politics&ir=Politics

Given the tenor of contemporary politics, it is not surprising that candidates—Republicans and Democrats—are able to distort reality, compromise principles and radically change positions in a blink of the eye under the assumption that their constituencies will not notice, or worse yet, don’t care.

At my age—one year older than the aforementioned Edward Klein—it’s nice to know that I’m a modern man on the left. Indeed, I can name-call just as well as tea-partiers, racists/birthers, and the idiots who depend on Fox “News” and talk radio for their public affairs knowledge. 

And I can do it without drooling. 

My memoir, Odyssey of a Derelict Gunslinger: A Saga of Exposing TV Preachers, Corrupt Politicians, Right-Wing Lunatics…and Me is available at amazon.com, soft-cover or Kindle and at independent bookstores like the Cottonwood in Baton Rouge. It offers $19.99 worth of laughs and much more. The book is an account of my illustrious (I choose the adjectives) investigative reporting career.